Raising up Warriors...for the glory due His name.: May 2011

Friday, May 27, 2011

Like a bandaid

Letting go of these little ones... I was thinking today, it is a bit like a bandaid being pulled off ever so slowly. You know it has to happen, and it's definitely for the best, but it's hard in the moment. The constant letting go and realizing all over again that we really have no control of or hold on our children.

They are a gift, given to us for a time. But they belong to God. The bandaid will come off completely one day, and though it may be a bit painful, there are so many wounds that will be healed underneath, and that can be celebrated. For as they grow, I grow. As I learn to let go, He is teaching me what it means to bind to Him and Him alone. He is my source of strength...hope...joy...everything.

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles... ~Isaiah 40:31

I was reminded of this sweet little boy that I once held as a baby, when his feet didn't even touch the ground. I held him while he slept, so sweet & sound. Such a gift.

Almost 5 years later, though he doesn't sleep much during the day anymore, recently I had a moment of holding him like that again. Yet I noticed he's starting to grow out of my lap...and soon I'm sure I won't be able to hold him like this anymore. Letting go.

And this week, as he "graduated" from AWANA Cubbies & preschool, I found my eyes surprisingly welled with tears. More moments of letting go. Releasing him to go into the world and decide what he believes and then live that out. We pray he chooses the way of the wise. We pray he walks in the ways of the Lord. But we cannot choose for him. We cannot cling. We cannot control. He has to fly. I am thankful today that his wings grow relatively slowly ;) These days do seem long sometimes, but the years truly are short.

We love you, Jackson. We are so proud of you!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Thanksgiving...for His glory

In this life it is so tempting to live to glorify ourselves. It creeps in. Do I have that person's approval? Do they like me? Do they think I'm a good Christian? Do they think I'm a good wife or mom or friend?

I am studying this week in Anne Graham Lotz's bible study, Pursuing more of Jesus. She is a very gifted woman of God, yet I am struck by her humility. She doesn't have it all figured out necessarily, even if she is a "Graham." She's just another believer walking this walk, running this race, striving to live for His glory.

As I am reminded in John 17 that Jesus lived to glorify His father--even Jesus, who is the Father himself--I am humbled to realize that though this is my greatest desire, maybe I don't do such a good job of it sometimes. In my outward actions I might do okay, but in my thoughts I can easily get sidetracked by that self-glorifying mentality.

So, I am pondering this today. Praying that I can live to glorify my Father in heaven. Only. Laying down all those distracting thoughts that plague me. Focusing on this job He has for me to do today. Thanking Him for being so patient with me, so willing to give me a myriad of second chances. Thanking Him for blessing me--continually--with tangible blessings, big and small, and most of all, with the blessing of His presence. His Spirit.

Here's a little glimpse of one of my "thankfuls" from my gratitude journal this week...
#557. the pure & simple joy of our one year old :)

Friday, May 6, 2011

My mission

Being a mom is hard. I have been graciously reminded again recently that it is also this huge blessing, this high calling. Truly, it is my mission.

It is so easy to say I am really "just a mom." When I think of all I do in the course of a day, sometimes it amounts to many tedious tasks that don't really mean a lot to the world. Meals. Clean-up. Laundry. Driving. Meals. More clean-up. More meals. More clean-up. Fold laundry (or think about it at least).

But then there are the moments. The gracious moments that I believe God gives because He truly does care about us moms.

The way they say "Ma-ma" and run to show me anything and everything that their little hands pick up.
The way that only mommy can kiss their hurts or hug their boo-boos just right to make it better sometimes.
The way their silliness and joy in life just makes me smile and laugh.
One who tells me that his highlight of the day was just "being with you, mommy."
One who tells me "I love you a lot, Mommy, but I love Jesus the most," and melts my heart.
And one whose huge sobs in the night slowly subside as he grips my shirt and I rock him and pray.

It's these moments that remind me of the blessing of motherhood. There are so many moments. Some that seem they'll never end (like tantrums that threaten to damage your hearing). Some that I wish would never end (like the way they still want to cuddle and hold my hand). All of these moments point me to my God. His love for me. His saving grace.

On this Mother's Day, I could hope for breakfast in bed, or a really well thought out handmade card or gift, but ultimately I already have the best gift of all. God has entrusted me with these little beings, with their very lives. They are His. But I have the high calling to teach them, to nurture them, to lead them to Him, day in and day out. I am not good at it in my own strength. But by His strength and grace He has equipped me to be their one and only mommy.

"[May I] walk in a way worthy of the calling with which [I've] been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with [my children] in love." ~Ephesians 4:2