Why can't we all just love one another?!?
I must say it 100 times a day. "Love your brother. Honor him above yourself." And sometimes it might not come out as calm and nice-sounding, but more like, "Stop being so selfish!"
We tell them that they will be blessed as they obey God, and will have consequences as they choose to disobey. Well, guess what? So will grown-ups! So do I.
I don't know why but I have been flooded recently with the idea of 'loving my neighbor'. Maybe it's because I'm studying the book of James, and he is serious about not just having a "believing faith" but a "doing faith." If we're not living it, James would say, we're probably actually not even believing it.
I've also been flooded with the concept of how we love other people, especially when it's hard. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says if you only love those who love you, what good is that? (paraphrase of Matthew 5:46) It may seem I can start my day full of the Spirit, ready to pour out that love onto everyone around me, but then when the people actually come into view, and they start doing things that I didn't expect and don't really like, that love tank empties out fast. I get offended...and hurt. And hurt people hurt people.
But if we all would remember that concept then maybe it would actually be easier to love and have grace for others. We are all hurt people. We can't walk out our front door most days without having felt some ounce of hurt from something someone has done or said (whether it was that day or even years before). Our human minds and emotions do not let go that quickly. If we could look beyond ourselves, though (talking to myself here), then we would realize we are all hurting in some way. We do not have any idea what it's like to be someone other than ourselves. So we really cannot know what another person is struggling with or hurting from. And nothing and no one can truly bring healing except Jesus.
That is how I want my kids to respond when they are hurt. I know their hurts right now mostly amount to a toy being grabbed away from them, or sand getting in their eye, but I want them to think of that other person, and pray. No matter what their hurt might be, that other person is hurting too. Deep down in our souls there is a God-shaped hole in everyone, and when that is not filled with the Lord, then we are bound to live out of selfish tendencies...which leads to not loving others.
What would this world be like if we all had grace for one another? Praying for each and every person who "wrongs" us, instead of instantly accusing and judging, standing up for our rights and retaliating (even if it's just in our thoughts). Not excusing sin or justifying it in any way, but leaving it up to God to be the righteous judge that he is.
Maybe that's why Jesus said, "If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love...and my command is this: LOVE ONE ANOTHER!!" (emphasis added, John 15:10,17)
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Parental gem mining {moments of brilliance}
This parenting thing is hard. And in this house we seem to go through seasons where it feels like it's truly kicking our tail! Thankfully, I think we are slowly coming out of one of those now. Maybe a lot of the intensity of it had to do with sleep deprivation, but whatever the source, the enemy was frequently trying to use it to bring us down, to make us wonder if we were doing anything right. But God... He's constantly working, and constantly refining. When we open our eyes, we can see the blessings, always there, just sometimes in disguise. Like a gem waiting to be discovered under the dirt and grime.
We recently discovered that Jack is wired for responsibility. Imagine that! God designed him to be the biggest brother in not a small family. And He has equipped him to help care for his little brothers. We've seen that it gives him some sense of purpose, and he even seems to enjoy it. We got advice from some friends about a month ago to let the oldest dress the youngest sometimes, even at their young ages. And so we tried it one day and asked him to dress David, and lo and behold, he could do it, and well! He even put a diaper on him. So now it's become a semi-regular occurence. And most of the time they end up having fun in the process...or Jack ends up learning how frustrating it can be when someone chooses not to listen. Both outcomes work in our favor (usually). And when he's just having a bad day, we've discovered that giving him a task like helping feed the baby, helps bring him out a little bit and get him thinking about something other than his own comfort for the moment. It's been a beautiful thing to see, and a nice help to me too ;)
Luke's moment of brilliance came to me about a week and a half ago when I took him out on a "date." I know he is mostly an upbeat child, but it just hit me that he is just plain excited about life. It is not hard to get him all out enthusiastic about something. He tends to just jump right in. I mean, our date was consisted of a little cup of ice cream & some shopping, and you would've thought I was taking him to see the Super Bowl! Every Friday since he started playing soccer this season, he asks me what time his game will be the next day, and then he tells me that he wishes he was in the car already on the way there because he loves to play soccer SO much. And when he talks about how much he loves his baby brother, he cannot contain himself. He loves him SO much, he says, that he even wants to sleep in his crib with him! It's a blessing to see this boy be so excited about life. May it always be to the glory of God.
David is just plain funny. He is such his own person, we could never fit him into a mold. He also has an amazing excitement about life. He just makes us laugh. One of those rough parenting moments recently was occurring around dinnertime, as is common in a house with young ones. And after disciplining someone for getting out of their chair, and someone else for not eating and being rude, we look over and David decided to put his shirt like this. I don't think we knew whether to laugh or cry. We decided laughing would be the better option. We're thankful for the way God has wired him to lighten things up when things are getting a little too serious around here.
Joshua learned how to sleep this week!!! There is no explanation, nothing different we did. It is absolutely to the glory of God alone. Our prayer for many weeks now, every night laying hands on his little head, is that the Lord will teach him how to sleep and get the rest his body needs. Relinquishing control. We tried everything we could possibly have done...and then we just let go. And slowly, over the past week or so, the wakings decreased, the crying became less, and 2 nights ago he actually slept an entire 11 hours straight! Now that's a moment of brilliance if we've ever seen one :) Praise God!
We recently discovered that Jack is wired for responsibility. Imagine that! God designed him to be the biggest brother in not a small family. And He has equipped him to help care for his little brothers. We've seen that it gives him some sense of purpose, and he even seems to enjoy it. We got advice from some friends about a month ago to let the oldest dress the youngest sometimes, even at their young ages. And so we tried it one day and asked him to dress David, and lo and behold, he could do it, and well! He even put a diaper on him. So now it's become a semi-regular occurence. And most of the time they end up having fun in the process...or Jack ends up learning how frustrating it can be when someone chooses not to listen. Both outcomes work in our favor (usually). And when he's just having a bad day, we've discovered that giving him a task like helping feed the baby, helps bring him out a little bit and get him thinking about something other than his own comfort for the moment. It's been a beautiful thing to see, and a nice help to me too ;)
Luke's moment of brilliance came to me about a week and a half ago when I took him out on a "date." I know he is mostly an upbeat child, but it just hit me that he is just plain excited about life. It is not hard to get him all out enthusiastic about something. He tends to just jump right in. I mean, our date was consisted of a little cup of ice cream & some shopping, and you would've thought I was taking him to see the Super Bowl! Every Friday since he started playing soccer this season, he asks me what time his game will be the next day, and then he tells me that he wishes he was in the car already on the way there because he loves to play soccer SO much. And when he talks about how much he loves his baby brother, he cannot contain himself. He loves him SO much, he says, that he even wants to sleep in his crib with him! It's a blessing to see this boy be so excited about life. May it always be to the glory of God.
David is just plain funny. He is such his own person, we could never fit him into a mold. He also has an amazing excitement about life. He just makes us laugh. One of those rough parenting moments recently was occurring around dinnertime, as is common in a house with young ones. And after disciplining someone for getting out of their chair, and someone else for not eating and being rude, we look over and David decided to put his shirt like this. I don't think we knew whether to laugh or cry. We decided laughing would be the better option. We're thankful for the way God has wired him to lighten things up when things are getting a little too serious around here.
Joshua learned how to sleep this week!!! There is no explanation, nothing different we did. It is absolutely to the glory of God alone. Our prayer for many weeks now, every night laying hands on his little head, is that the Lord will teach him how to sleep and get the rest his body needs. Relinquishing control. We tried everything we could possibly have done...and then we just let go. And slowly, over the past week or so, the wakings decreased, the crying became less, and 2 nights ago he actually slept an entire 11 hours straight! Now that's a moment of brilliance if we've ever seen one :) Praise God!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Gratitude and pity parties
Yesterday was Mother's Day. It was a beautiful, dreary day where we live, and I awoke to handmade cards and other wonderful gifts from the boys (and man) that I love. It started off good. There wasn't even any discipline involved in the first hour or so of them being awake! So many blessings.
Later in the day, though, I started to go within. Something prompted me to remember a difficult moment in the past, and something else prompted me to feel overwhelmed and a bit forgotten, and then it spiraled from there. A pity party. Call it what it was. And before I knew it I needed to just escape for a breath of fresh air.
So that's what I did. It was nothing brought on by anyone else. I have every reason in the world to feel loved and blessed by my children and my husband. It was just me. (And some hormones, if I'm totally honest). I drove and I sung, and I talked on the phone. First to my grandmother, who was so optimistic and encouraging, even though her circumstances had her in a hospital bed yesterday. She laughed as she told me that one year one of her sons got her a strainer for Mother's Day. And I talked to my mom, who knew immediately that I was a bit down (can't hide anything from her!). She also encouraged with strong words of truth, and prayed over me. Then I perused over some flowers and fruit at the Farmer's Market. Then I went to the grocery store. Alone.
When I finally felt like I could breathe wasn't even after all of that, though. It wasn't even the moment I walked in the door again and their faces lit up as they said, "Mommy!" It was when I realized I needed to count them up. The baby's soft coos as I laid him in bed made me think of it.
I sat, and I picked up a pen and my journal (that has gotten a little too dusty), and I counted them out. Backwards. From the end of the day to the beginning. I counted blessings. Gratitudes. The many gifts seen in that one day. And I wrote. And I wrote. And something lifted. It was like I felt the sun starting to shine through the dreary clouds.
Even though I knew I had a ton to be thankful for, I needed to will myself to take action about it. To look outside of myself. To write them out, one by one. The many grace-gifts He gives. When I looked back over it I realized, even in a little Mother's Day pity party, God cared. He was reaching down, blessing me, gently orchestrating things that would point me to Him. To the truth...that God never forgets His children.
I am blessed. I am thankful. God is grace.
Later in the day, though, I started to go within. Something prompted me to remember a difficult moment in the past, and something else prompted me to feel overwhelmed and a bit forgotten, and then it spiraled from there. A pity party. Call it what it was. And before I knew it I needed to just escape for a breath of fresh air.
So that's what I did. It was nothing brought on by anyone else. I have every reason in the world to feel loved and blessed by my children and my husband. It was just me. (And some hormones, if I'm totally honest). I drove and I sung, and I talked on the phone. First to my grandmother, who was so optimistic and encouraging, even though her circumstances had her in a hospital bed yesterday. She laughed as she told me that one year one of her sons got her a strainer for Mother's Day. And I talked to my mom, who knew immediately that I was a bit down (can't hide anything from her!). She also encouraged with strong words of truth, and prayed over me. Then I perused over some flowers and fruit at the Farmer's Market. Then I went to the grocery store. Alone.
When I finally felt like I could breathe wasn't even after all of that, though. It wasn't even the moment I walked in the door again and their faces lit up as they said, "Mommy!" It was when I realized I needed to count them up. The baby's soft coos as I laid him in bed made me think of it.
I sat, and I picked up a pen and my journal (that has gotten a little too dusty), and I counted them out. Backwards. From the end of the day to the beginning. I counted blessings. Gratitudes. The many gifts seen in that one day. And I wrote. And I wrote. And something lifted. It was like I felt the sun starting to shine through the dreary clouds.
Even though I knew I had a ton to be thankful for, I needed to will myself to take action about it. To look outside of myself. To write them out, one by one. The many grace-gifts He gives. When I looked back over it I realized, even in a little Mother's Day pity party, God cared. He was reaching down, blessing me, gently orchestrating things that would point me to Him. To the truth...that God never forgets His children.
I am blessed. I am thankful. God is grace.
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