Pure in heart

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." Matthew 5:8

What does this mean? How can I be pure in heart? I want to see God!

These are things I've been thinking on this past week as I've tried to hide this passage deep in my heart. And I believe the Lord has faithfully shown me a few things and revealed what this means for me. When I think of purity I think of fresh fallen snow...white, unblemished, free from stain. One dictionary definition says purity is "freedom from extraneous matter." I can think of so many things in life that can taint our hearts. Things that we say, think, or see. I think all of those areas can allow "extraneous matter" to take up residence in our hearts. And that subsequently clouds our view of God.

The pure in heart shall SEE God. Obviously our faith will not truly become sight as believers until the day we reign with Him in glory. But here on earth, the next best thing is to have an assuredness of his holy presence. He is with us always, as promised (Matt. 28:20). But our feeble humanity allows us to put up blockades or blinders that shield our view. We can't always "feel" the Lord, but He is always there. I want to live in that presence. Take the blinders off. Truly see Him, even here on this earth.

So to put these concepts both together, I'll give an example from my regular little life. The other night we were having a fun family time after dinner--lots of laughing, running around and just being crazy. My heart was full. Then bedtime routine came into view. Baths, jammies, teeth, books, Bible, bed...which sometimes goes smoothly and sometimes brings on some serious melting down. It messes up their plans. And their whining and fighting mess up mine! With their behavior and in my heart...I was all done. Everything started getting on my nerves, whether it be from a child, my husband, or even the dogs. As soon as I left the last one's room I fell on my face in our bedroom and laid still before God. I realized I had a choice. Pure in heart. See God. Put up walls of irritation, selfishness, resentment, etc. Limited view of God. I am so thankful I saw the choice. It was like a lightbulb moment. I prayed that God would change my attitude and my thoughts would honor him. That I would think the best of these messy people in my life, and that they would forgive messy me. It wasn't instantaneous, but I could see that peace was settling in. The night would not continue to go downhill, but my husband and I would instead have good conversation and enjoy our time together. We would not yell as our son comes down the stairs for the 3rd time just to "tell us something." We allowed our walls to fall down, and the result was seeing God.

I don't know if this makes any sense. The thing is, it looks different for everybody and on every different day. The point is that being pure in heart is something of a choice, a determination actually. Joining with God in prayer to break down those strongholds that trip us up and block our view of Him in our life. Moment by moment. Determine not to allow that extraneous matter to creep in and clutter your heart. It happens all too quickly. And we can trick ourselves into thinking it's just one little slip, one little indulgence, nothing that will have a lasting effect...that is just a flat out lie.

One final thing is this: the pure in heart not only see God, but they are also BLESSED. What an awesome God, who desires to bless us. Though we are slow to figure this whole thing out (to love Him and obey Him). He is always desiring to bless.

Santified by the truth

This life is hard. There are no two ways about it. No sugar-coated way to explain it to my kids. No denying it. And it's because of sin. That fated day that the sneaky snake creaped into the garden and then into our thoughts and our ways, causing us to be preoccupied with ourselves forevermore (here on this earth). It stinks.

There is nothing I want more than for our family to stop believing these lies, and to continually walk in the light of the Truth. The only truth: God's word.

Our boys have recently gotten into (or slightly obsessed with) the DVD series "What's in the Bible" by Phil Vischer. It's amazing. The way he just digs deep into the truth of God's word, explaining it in terms that kids can understand, yet not watering it down one bit. Our oldest has been listening to the songs during his quiet time each day. I do not exxagerate that he knows them almost word for word now. Even our 2 yr. old has started dressing up like the character "Chuck Wagon" and belting out "Who do you trust, who do you listen to, how are you gonna live your life..." (in a real twangy southern accent).

Anyway, my point is that I've been tempted to curb this obsession somehow, just because I tend to have a problem with obsessions. Then I realized there is one obsession that is okay. Being obsessed with God!

Jesus said, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." (Matthew 5:6)

The only way to be satisfied in this hard life is to pursue righteousness, pursue our God, day in and day out for all of our days. Just like we pursue food when we are hungry and drink when we are thirsty!

I told myself at the beginning of this new year that I didn't want to live a defeated life anymore. I didn't want to give in to the thoughts that so often bring me down. I don't want that for my children or my husband either. We were made for more than that. We were made to stand in victory, with the Lord. Yes, the lies come, and the enemy is relentless in trying to get us to believe them. The only way I know how to combat that is by the truth.

"Sanctify them in the truth. Your word is truth." John 17:17

I pray that as our boys grow, they will continue to hunger and thirst for righteousness. That they will seek God in those places where they feel defeated, where they are tempted to "throw tantrums" or seek fulfillment in some other way, even in places where they just don't understand something. That they will not look to the ways of this world for the answers they seek. I pray that I will learn to do that more faithfully, and that I will have grace for those around me who are learning also. May we live on the bread of God's word. And give thanks. He is good.

The way they grow...and a year ahead

 
Our second son turned 4 this past week. Seems like yesterday I cuddled with that sleeping little newborn. He's growing into himself now. He loves anything superhero (particularly Buzz and Spiderman) and he tells me he wants to fly (and i ask him not to try). He is eager to serve others, and loves to give gifts. He is something of an artist, and has taken a lot of interest in coloring and writing his letters this past year. He is passionate (or dramatic), and when he is upset his cry can make you want to hide under a pillow! He's tough as any "all boy" boy, yet his favorite colors are pink & purple. He loves to ride his bike super fast. And he loves to hold & kiss his baby brother.
 
Celebrating another birthday, and thinking over how these boys grow has made us ponder the things that really matter. Our greatest desire for our children is that they grow to know and serve the Lord their God with all their heart, mind, and strength. That they love their neighbors as themselves. And as they grow, we realize more and more that this is not going to be an easy thing for them. They are now under our wing, by God's grace. They are able to grow and learn and mess up with our guidance and direction. All too soon they will face many trials and hardships of their own, out in the world, and they will have to choose whether to go God's way...or the way of their flesh. It is a scary thought. Praise the Lord that He is sovereign, and even my tender Mama's heart doesn't have to worry day in and day out about these things. When I think of it all in the "big picture" view it can take my breath away. Maybe that's one of the blessings of this busy time of life with little ones. We don't have time to really think on all that they may one day face. It's just too overwhelming. Yet the Victory has been won. And we will continue to pray... 

Thank you, Lord, that you give us so many tender moments with our boys as they grow from little to big. Thank you for giving them to us to care for and hold and protect for this short amount of time. May they grow to be warriors for your kingdom, brave knights who love and obey your Word. And may we not take for granted any of these days...even if they sometimes seem long and tiring.

That brings us to the year ahead... I don't have any crazy resolutions, and my husband doesn't really either. Just simple ones. To be wise & intentional with our time. Good stewards of these bodies we've been given. To trust Him more deeply. To walk on the path He has set for us...on level ground.

Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Deliver me from my enemies, O LORD!
I have fled to you for refuge.

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God.

Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground! ~Psalm 143:8-10

A blessed 2012 from our family to yours!

December flies by

I won't be long today, but I thought I'd put up a few pictures of some fun we've had the past couple weeks. It's hard to believe it's already halfway through December. It crept up so quickly, and now we're almost to day 13 on the advent calendar!! I was looking back at posts from last year like this one and was reminded that I was "grasping for air" then too. I guess it just comes with the season...a certain hecticness that can make you go crazy if you let it (and some days I do). But although these days are filled with many activities and "to do's" on the list, they are full days and I am a good-tired as I fall into bed at the end of them. I am so thankful for the blessing of this family that calls me "mommy" :)

Praise the Lord that the truth of Christmas is that he came to be with us ALWAYS...not only once a year! May His peace rule in our hearts as we prepare to celebrate what He's done for us. That baby boy, Christ our King.



JESUS is our only hope

Today is one of those days when I feel like I just can't do this. Thankfully things have been going well lately, even with a newborn added to the mix! Though my days are often hectic and I hear myself repeating "I can only do one thing at a time" to various children all day long, I have felt God's grace in amazing ways in how he's given me patience and grown me in this call as a mommy. But I will admit that today I just don't feel I'm cut out for the job. Maybe it is the overwhelming tasks looming over my head--like laundry or clutter. Or maybe it's the things that I am frustrated about not getting to--like putting those pictures in an album that i've had sitting around (literally in a pile on an ottoman) since June. Or maybe that i can't seem to find anything when I need it--like the address book that can't be found all the sudden when I need to mail about a zillion thank you notes. Or maybe it's the constant discipline that just doesn't seem to be changing hearts lately.

Life is just frustrating. And honestly it hurts sometimes. It hurts to have things go much differently than you thought they would go. It hurts to have people disappoint you. It hurts to disappoint people. It hurts to see people hurting.

The one thing that I just keep coming back to in my mind, though, is where my hope comes from. JESUS is my only answer, my only hope. The only way. The only truth. The life. He just is. The way I see it is we either live believing that with every bone in our body, or we don't. If God is not bigger than anything we face, then who is he anyway? If he's the God of the Bible, then he is over everything and our only reason for hope in this world. If he can only help us in certain situations or he only cares about some things, then what does it mean when it says, "For from him and to him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever!" Romans 11:36

I cannot explain how I function some days on such little sleep with 4 little boys tugging on me all day long. I cannot tell you how we might be able to homeschool our children (if he calls us to). I cannot explain how hurts get healed. I cannot explain how blessings flow amidst pain...but they do. There is so much in this life that we tend to give up on, or just push under the rug or turn our head or find a way out of. But there is always hope. There is always a way to do the impossible. Jesus is that way. He came to earth to be that way for you and me. I have to stand on that, or I will crumble.

So I will press on. Knowing that even on days when I don't "feel" that I'm cut out for this call, Jesus will equip me to do it...and the mercies will be fresh and new the next morning. He is my hope and stay.

My wayward heart

I'm a funny blogger, if you can even call me that. I sometimes go a loooonnng time between posts. And then I feel a prompting. It's really weird actually. I mean, I'm pretty much never alone these days, yet lately I have been feeling very "alone" with my thoughts. I guess I've been pretty isolated with the new baby. Yes, maybe I'm just a crazy postpartum lady!

Being at home has been a blessing in many ways, but it also feels a little bit suffocating at times. There is always someone or something that has a need that has to be filled by me, and that can get overwhelming. Yesterday morning I was feeling that way bigtime. And honestly it was stealing my joy. One thing after another happened. The enemy is relentless in his ways to get me (and my kids) to act out in our flesh and sin in this battlefield of life. I got to a place where I could barely even remember Truth, let alone declare it out loud, which is what I knew I needed to do. It was a downward spiral. Then my husband came home and told me a simple story of a testimony he heard at church related to Operation Christmas Child. It had really touched his heart. And then it hit me. Newsflash! It's not all about me.

It is not about me. It's about this amazing God and how He is always working, He provides for every need, and He truly does answer every prayer. The glory is HIS.

This is my life. Constant ups and downs. It is so frustrating, yet so real. I wake up talking to the Lord--thanking him and asking for his grace to walk in His Spirit this day. I might even have a praise song in my head from the moment I step out of bed (always an added bonus). And then the day sets in. Babies fuss at the most inopportune moments, toddlers play with everything that's not a toy, preschoolers whine and complain and argue, messes are made, things aren't getting done like I hoped or planned...I'm literally surrounded by things that can tempt discouragement in my soul. I spiral down, then I swim back up for air (that is His grace), I spiral a bit again, then air, then spiral...you get the picture. I so wish it was different. Not that my life was different, but that my response to the potential discouragment be different. How I want to declare Truth like it's in the forefront of my mind in every situation I face. How I want to simply praise God, instead of complaining to Him so often. How I want to choose Joy! And to lay down my wayward, selfish heart that seeks my own comfort all the time.

I know it might sound like I'm a bit down in the dumps right now. Really I'm not (even though my hormones might be a little out of whack!). I am just dealing with those every day ups & downs, all those feelings that swirl around like they have no place to go. The only place for them to go is to my Heavenly Father, who tenderly reminds me of his love and grace, moment by moment.

Truly, I have much to be thankful for...

A beautiful, healthy baby boy

Three sweet, strong big brothers for that baby boy

An amazing husband, who has seen me through 4 hard deliveries, never ceasing to encourage me and pull me through. He is our rock who continually points us all to our amazing God. Such a blessing.
                                                 

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul thirsts for God, for the living God...Why are you downcast, O my soul. Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." ~Psalm 42

Great is thy faithfulness

I've been camping out in Lamentations 3 for about a week now. Well, actually I've been studying the whole book with our ladies' bible study, but if you've ever read Lamentations, it's not super pleasant to dwell on much besides chapter 3! Jeremiah does some serious lamenting, both personally & for Israel as a nation, in this short book of the Bible. I am struck by his honesty, and I love it actually. It is always so refreshing to be reminded that God does not want us to act like we are fine all the time when we come to him. It is so tempting to do that, because we sort of just fall into that in our human nature. Our typical greeting to each other as we pass by is usually a "how are you?" with a quick reply of "doing fine, thanks" or something similar, even if we are in reality on the brink of breaking because of the many burdens weighing on our hearts. We (or I) sort of feel like we have failed or are doing something wrong if we are not fine, if we don't have it all pretty much together pretty much all of the time. But God wants our honest hearts. He knows our true feelings anyway, so why not bring them to Him in humility and surrender? He really cares. He can take our honesty!

And the awesome part is that if we will call this to mind [a true act of the will for me at times] we can have hope:

"Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:21-23

I've been reminded that despite how some days in my little life I feel quite consumed, I actually am not. Some days when the burdens are great--when it seems like there is just so much to pray for, so much hurt in so many lives...we are not consumed. In the big and little He remains faithful. His mercies are new every single day. No matter what I fear or am anxious about or burdened by; even despite what I just feel inconvenienced by in this life...Great is thy faithfulness.

So that is what I am encouraged about and thankful for this week. Nothing monumental or super insightful...just this simple reminder. I just felt it was right to share it today.