Life and death

This week has been stressful, and sad. Our dog is dying of cancer. Amidst the normal day-to-day tasks around here we've been dealing with vet appointments, prescriptions, making "people" food for the dog, and wondering if she'll have enough energy today to get up the stairs. It's been an interesting time. I've found myself feeling anxious, not knowing what tomorrow holds or how she's going to die, or if we will have to make the decision to put her down and how our kids will handle all of that. I have not been through this before. And while I know that we never know what tomorrow holds for any of us, it is just so real and in your face when you're dealing with an impending death.

We told the kids about the dog last Saturday when she returned from the vet. Our youngest boy is very close to sweet Maggie. He found a true little friend in her very soon after he could crawl. One of his very first words was "Maggie" and he called all dogs by that name for at least a year. He isn't quite 3 yet, so of course he has a very limited understanding about what is going on. He has not been sad or cried at all about the news. This morning he said to me, with a big smile on his face, "Are we going to say good-bye to Maggie today?" The irony of it was that smile and the almost excitement in his voice. I felt myself sort of wince as I said, "I don't know, Joshua. Only God knows that." The faith of a child. Not feeling the sadness of pain and death, but just matter of fact and actually joyful of the fact that this earth is not all there is. What an amazing gift.

So while I know that the passing of a pet is just part of life, I also know this is another opportunity to be honest with myself and my state of helplessness. It is an opportunity to take all my worries and fears to the throne of God, laying them down and leaving them there. I am asking Him to give me that childlike faith, that trusts that the One who created the world also holds it all in His hands--every moment, every detail--and from that faith, may pure joy overflow.