Last night I felt a little bit fried. That pretty much sums it up. This week was hard. I'll admit it. I could sugar-coat our life right now and say we are the quintessential homeschool family, all singing hymns together around the piano to start our day, with a beautiful baby sleeping contentedly in a bassinet nearby. But in actuality when we've tried to incorporate some hymns on occasion, it usually ends up with a child banging the piano keys, another one jumping off the nearby chair, and a boy wrestling his brother to get back a toy or be the one who gets to sit on the piano bench. Sometimes there is singing.
The point is, it's not ideal. Not quintessential. But it's our life.
This week there were fights about school. There were brand new Christmas toys that were destroyed by a toddler, and an entire tupperware of kidney beans spilled all over the floor. There was a crying baby fighting her naps. There was much discipline for rudeness and disrespect.
There was also the joy of first baby laughs. Boys playing superhero all together. Boys excited to do a science project with daddy. A spontaneous walk to the playground. 'Ice skating' in the back yard. Lots of game playing. And some sweet cuddles too.
I am tired. I don't get much of a "break" by the world's standards. But I am thankful. This is my life. The ugly and the beautiful. I want to hold open my hands and say "yes" to all the Lord has. All that he is teaching me, though sometimes it is through the hard stuff. I want to look at my children and see the wonder, the miracle that they really are, underneath all that flesh. After all, that is how He sees me.
Even if I feel fried every now and then...I don't want to miss this.
"God is faithful." ~1 Cor. 1:9
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