Final thoughts from his mission trip

Day 8: What Haiti taught me.

As I was sitting on the plane on the way back to the States, I couldn't help but play the last week over in my mind and try to pin a few life lessons down. So here goes...

Lesson #1: A cold shower at the end of a very hot day is actually quite nice. This one relates to my ridiculous worries about the future. It may seem small, but in preparation for this trip, I was a bit anxious about the report of "no hot water" at the SP compound. I guess I place more importance on comfort than I realized. What I feared, however, was instead an incredible blessing.

Lesson #2: Priorities... I met some incredibly poor people this week. They would kill for the lifestyles of some of the poorest people in the US--literally. We were warned not to give "gifts" out to the patients, or even the Haitian staff, because they had learned it could quickly lead to a physical fight. There were a few babies we saw that were exceptionally malnourished. For one reason or another, the mothers had been forced to stop breastfeeding at 5 or 6 months instead of 1+ years like normal. In those cases, we tried to give them a nutritional "paste" called Plumpy (a tasty concoction of fat and sugar, and 1 small pouch had 500 calories). The other mothers saw this and immediately wanted it for their children. I got the impression that if we weren't in a "secure" environment, it could have gotten ugly.

It's strange to see people willing to fight over food, but still placing a priority on having a cell phone... Just like home, right? I do it too, I know. I wonder what God thinks about our "priorities.". Unfortunately, I think my view of life has been so clouded that I can't really even see what God wants my priorities to be.

Lesson #3: My idea of "right" is only as true as it lines up with the Creator's definition of right. In a security briefing by the SP personal, we were told that if our driver hits another car or person, they will immediately leave the scene of the accident. The reason is that the Haitian idea of justice would be to drag the passengers out of our car and kill us... A version of an eye for an eye. With that in mind, Praise the Lord we never hit anybody! I'm pretty sure that's why God wants us to leave the judging to Him. One fundamental problem I see with my idea of right is that it is based on the principle that death is the worst thing that can happen to someone. A more Biblically appropriate basis for right would be to base the idea of it on "eternal separation from God" as the worst possible end. With that perspective, a lot of the "why do bad things happen to good people" questions would evaporate into thin air... No one is good other than God, and my imperfect idea of right should take a back seat to what He ordains.


Lesson #4: I miss my family... About 6 months ago, God put a question on my heart: "what is fasting all about?" Honestly, I don't think I'd ever thought much about it, and I've personally not heard much about it in church. When I had thought about in the past, I was hindered in my spirit because I felt I couldn't do it without having a sense of pride about accomplishing some version of self sacrifice. Earlier this year, I began by studying Isaiah 58 and confirmed that that "self-serving" fast indeed was not what God wants. I had also been convicted some time ago that my inability to perform a task without feeling prideful should never hinder me from giving God my best... He deserves our best.

So what is fasting? Food certainly comes to mind. Many people I love dearly have fasted from food in different ways in the recent past. As I have observed, I have been fascinated with their journeys. One obvious thing I learned is that God calls us to different things at different times. What may be right for me right now, may never be what He intends for you. Another thing I observed was the temptation for some to say during their fast: "Hey, this really isn't that bad, maybe I could keep doing this for a while." I know their hearts were right, as much as you can ever know that of someone else. However, that statement, I believe, is not the heart God desires of our fasts. What is most important to us in this life? Would you give it up if God asked you to? I think a "fast" is God's way of proving to us that we are as committed to Him as we hope we are. He certainly gains nothing from me living some aesthetic form of self denial. He certainly can and will use depravity, however, to teach us much about His kingdom and our place in it.

So, with much pain and trembling, I felt God calling me to "fast" from my beautiful wife and precious children, the ones I hold most dear on this earth. I felt this call in December (5 months ago), but I'm honestly just now putting it together. God provided this trip to Haiti not to bring separation between me and my family, but to enthrone Himself as absolute Lord in my life, even over these most previous of gifts He has blessed me with. He has been faithful to sustain me this past week. It was not easy. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do actually, but He sustained me. Though I know He may call me to other similar trips, I would never be able to say "this isn't so bad."

Lesson #5: Paul never traveled alone... I praise the Lord for my good friend Adam. It's a miracle of our gracious God that He was even on this trip. If you only knew all the things that had to "fall" into place for him to come with me, you would be amazed. I'm not at all implying that his purpose on this trip was simply hold my hand. On the contrary, I saw God work on and through Adam in many ways this week. I know he was stretched beyond his comfort zone, and I'm sure he felt at times like he had little to offer (I think we all did). However, I saw him befriend and minister to more of the Haitian staff than just about any other "short timer" there. What I am saying is that God did not intend for us to fly solo. I pray that I encouraged and supported Adam as much as he did me. So whether he was my Silas or I was his, I don't really know, but I have a feeling that God intended us to serve that purpose for each other.

Lesson #6: Evil can be hard to see when you're at home. I was struck while in Haiti by how obvious evil was. From stories of voodoo zombies and baby snatching to gangs, murder and political corruption, the work of "the opposing team," was painfully vivid. It stood out in dramatic fashion against the work being done for God by SP and the Haitian Christians I met. It's not nearly so obvious here in the States. I know we have plenty of violence and corruption here, but for the most part, I'm either sheltered from it or hardened towards it. The TV news gets so excited by the dramatic tragedies that occur here that it almost seems like an extension of Hollywood. In a sick way, it becomes entertainment, far from "real" life. As I've been processing this trip, however, I'm beginning to realize that the old snake from the garden is simply up to his old tricks again. If that worm can convince us that his evil enticements (lying, cheating, pornography at the grocery store checkout, hate...) are either commonplace or things that happen "somewhere else", he's that much closer to pulling our hearts away from God. It's no different in Haiti. I read a statistic that Haiti is 75% catholic and 90% voodoo. As I watched child after child come into the clinic with a voodoo charm around there neck, I began to understand a little about life back home. Most of these families professed to believe in Jesus, and yet they still put these charms on their children for "protection". How many things do we accept, or openly participate in, simply because it's part of our culture? Sure, it's not voodoo, but are these exceptions to our complete devotion to God's way any less displeasing to our King? I think not. I pray that The King of Kings will point out the things in my life that are watered down, or just plain evil, and set me free from the lie of a moderate Christian life. He either is Lord of my life, or He is not. God, give us eyes to see...

There are so many other lessons I learned on this trip, like "it would be better to fly from Greensboro to Canada rather than through the Miami airport ever again", and "man, there are some really strong Christians in Canada (they outnumbered us Americans by a good margin down there!)", and "you can haul just about anything on a motorcycle, even a bundle of 12 feet long rebar"... But, I'm about to make my final decent back home, and those stories will have to wait for another time. Thank you thank you thank you for your prayers and support, and thank you for reading this. I pray that you have been blessed by it in some small way. Praise be to the God of Heaven and Earth, may His Kingdom come.


-Tom