Alone with my thoughts

This has been a restful weekend. A lot of time alone with the boys at home. A lot of time just tooling around outside as the beginnings of fall are in the air. And reading on the couch with my hubby watching the football games in the background. It's been nice. It's in these times that I have a lot of time to think. A friend of mine once brought to my attention how being a mom sometimes can seem so lonely, even though we are almost never actually alone. So funny, yet so true.

So alone with my thoughts many things have gone through my mind. There have been moments when I've felt at the end of my rope. No one seems to hear, or even notice that I am here. But He sees. Then there have been times where I've wished they could understand how truly blessed they are. Wished they could understand what it means to be grateful, not always asking for more before even finishing with what they have. He probably wishes that of me too. Times where I've repeatedly asked them to stop doing something, yet they continue on as if I am invisible and silent. And then they run crying to me when they fall and hurt themselves because they didn't heed my warning. How many times has he had to do that for me? There have been times where the big question is 'how much longer...until we can go outside, or until we have to go to bed.' The answer varies, from 2, 5 or 10 minutes, or my personal favorite, 'septeen' (spoken by a 4 yr. old). It just makes me think about how only His timing is perfect. And there have been moments of brilliance like when they got their allowance yesterday and Jack's first words were "I've got to give the first dollar back to God!" How he must smile when we really do get it--we are blessed when we obey!


This journey through motherhood I often do feel quite alone, but I am comforted by the fact that my heavenly Father always hears me, always attends to me. He is my audience of one. It is these sweet reminders of my relationship with him that bring a smile or sigh in a moment where it seems that no one notices.