Not feelin' it

"But I don't want to"

Those are all too familiar words in this house of preschoolers, said in a classic whiny tone, feet dragging on the ground, mouth gaping open and pointed downward in a frown, grumpy tears about to stream...

And to tell you the truth, sometimes I don't want to either. I've thought about this topic a lot. How so often our emotions lead us (me). I am so tempted to just go with the flow of "but i don't want to's". I don't want to reject the lies that I'm not pretty today. I don't want to follow through with that consequence. I don't want to be thankful for the mess. I don't want to love that person who is hard to love. I don't want to...

It is so tempting to step off the foundation of truth, the firm foundation, into the rocky soil of lies. It seems like it might be a better choice sometimes. It feels right to just wallow in it. But God doesn't ask us to do what feels right. He wants us to do what IS right. To believe that which IS truth.

When I'm just not feelin' it, I know I need to acknowledge those feelings. They are real. They are there. In my humanity, I will never stop feeling stuff. But then I need to lay it all at His feet, and replace the lies with truth. Stop standing on the feeling of "but i don't want to"...

I don't want to reject the lies that I'm not pretty (HE says I am wonderfully made...for a good purpose. HE thinks I am lovely~Psalm 139:14, Ps. 84:1). I don't want to follow through (HE tells me to be consistent...to train them up~Prov. 22:6). I don't want to be thankful (HE says to be thankful in ALL circumstances~1Thes. 5:18). I don't want to love that person (HE tells me that the greatest command is to love one another~John 15:17).

Replacing lies with truth. God's True Word. We all have days when we're not feeling like it. But by his grace we can choose to stand on that firm foundation. Only by his grace.

Multitude

Today I am reminded that He is soveriegn. Over every detail. Every best laid plan. He knows what we need. He is faithful to provide.

And I am thankful.

# 68-75

68. the little boy who loves to play with my hair

69. the one who has the cutest smile ever when he wakes from a nap

70. the one who can tackle you to the ground with a hug, but every time there is love attached

71. little boys pushing trucks in the yard

72. meeting a lovely lady and talking with her about life, her mission, her burdens...and the privilege of bringing her to the throne of Grace

73. planting flowers

74. hayrides, campfires and smores

75. God is sovereign

This is my story, my song.

Some days I am overwhelmed. Some days I am weary. Some days I'm just spent.

This world has so much to offer, so many pick-me-ups, so many ways to numb the feelings we feel. But one of my favorite ways to revive my spirit on days where I am feeling heavy with all of life is by pumping up the music. We love music in this family. I am blessed to have a very gifted husband who can sing just about anything and likes to do that, just about all the time. When things are getting heated in the car (i.e. kids throwing things, whining or yelling at each other), we have been known to just turn up the music and sing praises loudly to the Lord. I mean, we probably won't damage their ears. I'm sure they'll listen to it much louder one day. It is balm to our soul...and it really does work to change their behavior (most of the time).

So I've been feeling led to share a few lyrics to some songs that have "shuffled" past me & imprinted on my spirit of late...

Even when I don't see, I still believe (Jeremy Camp)

To win you've got to come in last place (Audio Adrenaline)

Whatever's in front of me, I choose to sing "Hallelujah" (Bethany Dillon)

I am (He is) constant, I am near you...I'm the only One who knows your hearts desires (Jill Philips)

And they'll know us by our Love (Christy Nockels)

I realize that falling down ain't graceful, but I thank the Lord that falling's full of grace (Andrew Peterson)

And when the saints go marching in, I want to be one of them (Sara Groves)

It's more than enough just to know I am loved...and You are good (Nichole Nordeman)

Still is my soul... (Jill Philips)

This is my story. In Christ alone, my hope is found. He is my light, my strength, my song. How can I thank Him? What can I lay at the feet of this King? With every breath, I want to be faithful, to serve him, to praise him, to love him...to sing to him. He is holding my life in his hands.

Multitude Monday

Giving thanks is so relative to what we experience sometimes. I might be thankful for butternut squash, you might be thankful you don't have to eat it. But the point is it is all gratitude. And what is gratitude if we are not thankful to someone...for something? What is it, really? It is cool to be grateful, it is trendy, it is accepted, it is desired...but all for what?

"Every good and perfect gift is from above..." James 1:17

Every. good. gift.

I believe He knows what it takes to reach our core. What will spur us on to give thanks. To be truly grateful. He knows that hole in our soul. That one that only he can fill. And he fills it. Whether we know it or not. That overwhelming feeling of gratitude. It is all for Him. The one who creates. All good things.

# 51-66

51. a great photographer, and new friends

52. moments of brilliance

53. the depravity of my flesh...overcome by a gracious God

54. a rainy cold day, a warm fire to sit by

55. daddy took over

56. a nephew searching for Truth~his heart such fertile soil

57. time with my sisters

58. laughter among cousins under the table

59. a beautiful sky lights my way home

60. missionaries

61. a tiny hand on my face

62. the way they run to me when they're hurting

63. the excitement of packing a box for another

64. knowing that God knows already who will get that box & cherish the contents inside

65. piles of clean laundry that can wait

66. a man who stands for his convictions

67. a kiss on a boo-boo still makes it all better :)

Why bad guys?

Have you ever pondered this question? Probably so, to some extent. We all have. When something bad happens, we wonder why. We ask God, "why?" But I have been pondering it more these days in response to little boys who want to be the bad guy sometimes, and they wonder why it's not okay to repay "evil with evil" (or hit someone who just threw a toy at them). We tell our kids these truths from God's word: "treat others how you want to be treated," "be kind to everyone," "honor one another above yourself." And sometimes that's a good enough answer. Though when I was with my 8 year old nephew this weekend, I realized that it won't always be enough for these little ones. They begin to really question the world. Why can't I do something mean back to someone who's been mean to me? It seems fair. They did it first!

Then I was led this morning to Psalm 37. God is so wise!

"Do not fret because of evil men...Trust in the Lord and do good...Delight yourself in the Lord...He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn...Refrain from anger and turn from wrath...evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land."

Wow! It was like God knew I was working this out in my spirit before I even did. I just have a passion for the little boys in my life to be warriors for God. It is so vital for them to know that God is the ultimate judge. Life is hard. People are people. They will be hurt...many times. I just long for them to understand that no matter what--there is no exception--God is good. He is sovereign. He cares. And He loves them. No matter what. He can be trusted.

It might not always seem like the "cool" thing or even the best idea to do what's right in God's sight. To live according to His word, instead of by the standards of the world. It might not seem like the bad guys are getting what they deserve. But in the end, it will always pay off. We will inherit our "land"...our inheritance in Christ...and the wicked will be destroyed. God is our righteous judge. The bad guy never wins!

"The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him." Psalm 37:39-40

Some glimpses of Fall...

celebrating our 7th anniversary

visit to the pumpkin patch



cousin Maggie stays for the weekend

fun with the leaves

david's silly adventures

pumpkin bash 2010

our little superheroes :)

Multitude Monday & "the diva"

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power at work within us, to him be glory..." Ephesians 3:20-21

According to His power.

Today I am joining Lara one more time in recounting the month with the lady of Proverbs 31. She is a woman of noble character. A mighty warrior of a woman, you might say. Throughout this month, Lara and her guest writers have talked about the various qualities of this woman, and had some amazing insights into who she really is. This picture God painted in scripture is for a purpose. Not to condemn or cause us to feel guilt or shame, but to uplift, to encourage, to spur us on to all we are called to do and be.

I am tying this into my "multitude" post for this week because one of the main things I have gained from this study of Proverbs 31 is something I am eternally grateful for. That thing is that it is by His power alone that I can do anything. The Lord is my strength. He is my portion. My song. My life. If I do anything good. Anything that means anything, it is because of Him.

I am so thankful that God alone can make me this woman of noble character. This Proverbs 31 diva. She is wise, resourceful, loving, kind, at peace, prepared, beloved, blessed, secure, beautiful. I believe He is sculpting me into her right now. Maybe he's doing that for you also. No, I know he's doing that for you. He's always at work within his children.

So, today I am thankful for His power. That He does immeasurably more that all I can ever ask or imagine, through me! Amazing. Beyond understanding. God.

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Through this past week I've also found these things to give thanks for...

# 42-50

42. a moment to get to know my son's preschool teachers
43. the wonder of library books
44. that God made T-rex
45. the farmer's market on a crisp fall morning
46. a bouquet of fall flowers
47. that our kids have amazing friends
48. true rest comes from the Lord, every time
49. excitement over the possibilities
50. this mystery of being a Proverbs 31 woman, by His power